I'm thankful for:
1. The Spirit, without whom I would not make it through the day.
2. God's grace
3. God's Word
4. God's patience
5. Reading, and the break it provides
6. Good food (especially chocolate and cheese, but not together)
7. The nature center, and the ability to walk in it.
8. Church
9. Generous neighbors
10. bodyrock.tv
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Happy Birthday Odin!
Happy birthday little man! I love you so much. You are such a joy to us and I am so thankful that you are in our lives. Here's what's going on around our house:
- Odin is walking! He finally decided that he was ready to walk across the room for his birthday week. He is still a bit wobbly, but he can walk where he wants to now. I think he was just waiting till he knew he could do everything he wanted ;)
-Odin understands a lot of words, but he still isn't saying many. He says 'mama' whenever he wants something, 'du' when he sees ducks, and occasionally 'dada' for dad.
-We are teaching Odin to get things and bring them to Mom. He does it fairly well.
-Odin can now point to what he wants. He also can identify people in pictures (well, Mom, Dad, MeeMaw, and sometimes his uncle).
-Unfortunately, Odin has learned how to throw major fits when he doesn't get what he wants. I'm happy that he is determined, but hitting temper tantrums this early scares me.
-We are just getting over Odin's first (and hopefully last) case of croup. He sounded terrible, but took being sick well. He is certainly a fighter.
-The day after his birthday, completely out of nowhere, Odin started clapping. He now claps when he is happy and as he is deciding if he wants to throw a fit. He also gives high-fives.
-Odin 'zerberts' our tummies. He will pull up his dad's shirt, and blow on his tummy till he makes noise. He is so proud of himself when he does it.
What he loves:
-The vacuum. He gets excited when I say the word, and loves to push it around. Let's hope he stays enthusiastic about chores.
-Food. He is getting to have a pickier palate, but he loves eating what Mom eats. His current favorites are spagetti, tangerines, rice, rice cakes, rice crackers and (*cough*) cookies.
-Dancing. He loves music, especially the theme songs for my TV shows. He gets so happy and instantly dances when he hears them.
-Walks. We go for at least one walk a day, and Odin loves being outside.
-Odin's favorite game is taking things out and putting them back into a box. He also loves his stacking cups and playing 'pretend' with Mom's kitchen tools.
He dislikes:
-The carseat. He throws a major fit getting into it, but is doing better about calming down while we drive.
-Being separated from Mom. Separation anxiety is in full swing. I can't even go to bootcamp workouts anymore, because he has a major meltdown with Dad.
-Doctors. As soon as we met our new doctor (who I love), Odin started screaming. I think he remembers getting his blood drawn at 6 months, and has associated the experience with doctors.
Odin is growing up so fast, it feels like he does something new every day. We love you and are praying you inspire virtue.
- Odin is walking! He finally decided that he was ready to walk across the room for his birthday week. He is still a bit wobbly, but he can walk where he wants to now. I think he was just waiting till he knew he could do everything he wanted ;)
-Odin understands a lot of words, but he still isn't saying many. He says 'mama' whenever he wants something, 'du' when he sees ducks, and occasionally 'dada' for dad.
-We are teaching Odin to get things and bring them to Mom. He does it fairly well.
-Odin can now point to what he wants. He also can identify people in pictures (well, Mom, Dad, MeeMaw, and sometimes his uncle).
-Unfortunately, Odin has learned how to throw major fits when he doesn't get what he wants. I'm happy that he is determined, but hitting temper tantrums this early scares me.
-We are just getting over Odin's first (and hopefully last) case of croup. He sounded terrible, but took being sick well. He is certainly a fighter.
-The day after his birthday, completely out of nowhere, Odin started clapping. He now claps when he is happy and as he is deciding if he wants to throw a fit. He also gives high-fives.
-Odin 'zerberts' our tummies. He will pull up his dad's shirt, and blow on his tummy till he makes noise. He is so proud of himself when he does it.
What he loves:
-The vacuum. He gets excited when I say the word, and loves to push it around. Let's hope he stays enthusiastic about chores.
-Food. He is getting to have a pickier palate, but he loves eating what Mom eats. His current favorites are spagetti, tangerines, rice, rice cakes, rice crackers and (*cough*) cookies.
-Dancing. He loves music, especially the theme songs for my TV shows. He gets so happy and instantly dances when he hears them.
-Walks. We go for at least one walk a day, and Odin loves being outside.
-Odin's favorite game is taking things out and putting them back into a box. He also loves his stacking cups and playing 'pretend' with Mom's kitchen tools.
He dislikes:
-The carseat. He throws a major fit getting into it, but is doing better about calming down while we drive.
-Being separated from Mom. Separation anxiety is in full swing. I can't even go to bootcamp workouts anymore, because he has a major meltdown with Dad.
-Doctors. As soon as we met our new doctor (who I love), Odin started screaming. I think he remembers getting his blood drawn at 6 months, and has associated the experience with doctors.
Odin is growing up so fast, it feels like he does something new every day. We love you and are praying you inspire virtue.
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Thankfulness Part 2: Difficulty
Perhaps I have a mis-shapen soul, but I am afraid that my soul needs a bit of trouble. I'm not saying that I like discipline, hardship, or pain (quite the opposite), but I find that my heart wanders from God in the good times. These last couple of years have brought their fair share of trouble but in looking back I am thankful. I am thankful to be reminded of the goodness of the good in my life, and long for heaven when I see this world's brokenness. So in no particular order, I am thankful for these hard blessings.
1. Financial Difficulty. Right now we are loosing money on a monthly basis, and it is stressful. Our situation is a result of the choices that we have made, and I am grateful for the reminder that what we have comes from God. God will provide, and we can trust Him to take care of us. I am thankful that we haven't gone hungry, we have a warm and comfortable home, and that my husband has a good job.
2. Salah's Job. The assignment that Salah took on this year is very nontraditional and difficult. He teaches at a community day school, which is a step past the continuation school (read: kids in and out of juvy). According to what he says, the students often have difficult attitudes and struggle to learn, or even apply themselves. I really don't understand what this is like for him, but he often comes home tired and worn out. I am thankful for the reminder that parenting matters, and I am setting up Odin for the rest of his life. I am thankful that I was blessed to have a good home life and people who cared about me so that I didn't get into trouble. I am thankful that I have to rely on God to get us through this season.
3. A reminder to live a good life. Last year we took care of my grandpa, who is in failing health and has dementia. Since he doesn't remember much, it was very interesting to see where his mind went. He frequently told the same stories and reminisced about the good times. This is going to sound terrible, but he lived a fairly selfish life. He rarely talked about his children, was most proud of wrestling a bully in college, and did not speak about God. My family has a lot of drama right now, and while this is partially because of the choices that certain people have made in their own lives, it is also a result of the way my grandpa parented. It has been really difficult dealing with my family, but it has been a good reminder that I need to daily live my life to the fullest, looking to Jesus. When I come to the end of my life I really hope that I don't loose my mind, but if I do, then I want to re-tell kingdom building stories, pray repeatedly, and speak lovingly of my children. I prefer positive examples, but sometimes negative ones can be just as effective.
4. My Elimination Diet. For almost a year I have chosen to eliminate allergenic foods from my diet so that Odin wouldn't have reflux. For a while all I ate was turkey, pears, potatoes, and rice. I have slowly been able to add things back into my diet and at this point I don't eat dairy or chocolate and try not to each much wheat. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be very intentional about what I eat, and having to sacrifice for someone else. I now better understand fasting, and hope to continue this practice in the future. I have been able to re-experience food (which has been fun). I have learned what sacrifice feels like when the person doesn't understand what you are doing for them. I love you Odin, and am glad that I could lessen your tummy troubles!
5. Loneliness. We have really tried to keep Odin from getting sick (again) this last year. Fortunately, it has worked. Unfortunately, it often means that I don't get out much and have to limit our contact with others. We often have to cancel play dates because of sickness and avoid nursery like the plague. Some days are harder than others, but in general I am thankful for the opportunity to appreciate my friends more and rely on God when others aren't around.
6. Separation from Family. There are times that I hear others talk about their awesome parents, or are able to go on dates without having to find a babysitter and I am very jealous. But I am thankful that I have family to miss, and that my relationship with my mom is such that I wish she was around. Hopefully things will change, but until then, I am glad that I can develop other friends.
7. Being Tired. These days I am tired most of the time (and no, I'm not pregnant again!). I'm tired because I have an awesome, but very crazy/energetic, one year old who NEVER STOPS. I am thankful that he is part of my life, even if it means less energy.
8. Chores. A mother's life is always full of never ending laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning. Some days I hate it, but I am learning to appreciate it. I am thankful that we have a house to clean, food to prepare, and a baby who dirties clothes. My life is full, even if it is partially full of monotony. I am blessed.
9. Odin's Rough Year. I know I keep talking about it, but Odin's sickness really scared us this past year. People say that babies' personalities start very young, but Odin was so different as a baby. At first, I just thought he was very even tempered and quiet, but really he was just super sick. I am thankful that this time is over, that it made me realize how fragile life is, for restoring relationships, and pushing me to rely on God.
10. Distractions. I feel like my life is full of them, but I am learning that the distractions put things into focus, emphasize what is important, and make me take my life one moment at a time.
1. Financial Difficulty. Right now we are loosing money on a monthly basis, and it is stressful. Our situation is a result of the choices that we have made, and I am grateful for the reminder that what we have comes from God. God will provide, and we can trust Him to take care of us. I am thankful that we haven't gone hungry, we have a warm and comfortable home, and that my husband has a good job.
2. Salah's Job. The assignment that Salah took on this year is very nontraditional and difficult. He teaches at a community day school, which is a step past the continuation school (read: kids in and out of juvy). According to what he says, the students often have difficult attitudes and struggle to learn, or even apply themselves. I really don't understand what this is like for him, but he often comes home tired and worn out. I am thankful for the reminder that parenting matters, and I am setting up Odin for the rest of his life. I am thankful that I was blessed to have a good home life and people who cared about me so that I didn't get into trouble. I am thankful that I have to rely on God to get us through this season.
3. A reminder to live a good life. Last year we took care of my grandpa, who is in failing health and has dementia. Since he doesn't remember much, it was very interesting to see where his mind went. He frequently told the same stories and reminisced about the good times. This is going to sound terrible, but he lived a fairly selfish life. He rarely talked about his children, was most proud of wrestling a bully in college, and did not speak about God. My family has a lot of drama right now, and while this is partially because of the choices that certain people have made in their own lives, it is also a result of the way my grandpa parented. It has been really difficult dealing with my family, but it has been a good reminder that I need to daily live my life to the fullest, looking to Jesus. When I come to the end of my life I really hope that I don't loose my mind, but if I do, then I want to re-tell kingdom building stories, pray repeatedly, and speak lovingly of my children. I prefer positive examples, but sometimes negative ones can be just as effective.
4. My Elimination Diet. For almost a year I have chosen to eliminate allergenic foods from my diet so that Odin wouldn't have reflux. For a while all I ate was turkey, pears, potatoes, and rice. I have slowly been able to add things back into my diet and at this point I don't eat dairy or chocolate and try not to each much wheat. I am so thankful for the opportunity to be very intentional about what I eat, and having to sacrifice for someone else. I now better understand fasting, and hope to continue this practice in the future. I have been able to re-experience food (which has been fun). I have learned what sacrifice feels like when the person doesn't understand what you are doing for them. I love you Odin, and am glad that I could lessen your tummy troubles!
5. Loneliness. We have really tried to keep Odin from getting sick (again) this last year. Fortunately, it has worked. Unfortunately, it often means that I don't get out much and have to limit our contact with others. We often have to cancel play dates because of sickness and avoid nursery like the plague. Some days are harder than others, but in general I am thankful for the opportunity to appreciate my friends more and rely on God when others aren't around.
6. Separation from Family. There are times that I hear others talk about their awesome parents, or are able to go on dates without having to find a babysitter and I am very jealous. But I am thankful that I have family to miss, and that my relationship with my mom is such that I wish she was around. Hopefully things will change, but until then, I am glad that I can develop other friends.
7. Being Tired. These days I am tired most of the time (and no, I'm not pregnant again!). I'm tired because I have an awesome, but very crazy/energetic, one year old who NEVER STOPS. I am thankful that he is part of my life, even if it means less energy.
8. Chores. A mother's life is always full of never ending laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, and cleaning. Some days I hate it, but I am learning to appreciate it. I am thankful that we have a house to clean, food to prepare, and a baby who dirties clothes. My life is full, even if it is partially full of monotony. I am blessed.
9. Odin's Rough Year. I know I keep talking about it, but Odin's sickness really scared us this past year. People say that babies' personalities start very young, but Odin was so different as a baby. At first, I just thought he was very even tempered and quiet, but really he was just super sick. I am thankful that this time is over, that it made me realize how fragile life is, for restoring relationships, and pushing me to rely on God.
10. Distractions. I feel like my life is full of them, but I am learning that the distractions put things into focus, emphasize what is important, and make me take my life one moment at a time.
Monday, November 5, 2012
Thankfulness Part 1
Thankfulness in November isn't exactly original, but I decided that I'd join the bandwagon. I've realized that my heart gets cranky and unsatisfied if I don't regularly practice thankfulness, so I might as well share (or at least record) how I have been blessed. What I am thankful for also nicely corresponds with what is happening in my life, and I like having something look back on and see what life was like with a one year old :)
I know that I won'thave the time be disciplined enough to do this daily, so I thought I'd group post. The first set of things I am thankful for are God's blessings in my life.
1. My husband, Salah. I am so thankful for my husband, and I truly cannot imagine my life without him. He is my best friend, partner, and love. When we first became a couple, he told me that he wanted to encourage me, support me, and challenge my relationship with God. I am so thankful that he has done all three. The more I see other couples, the more I realize that we are (or have let ourselves become) a good match for each other. Although he sometimes drives me crazy, I know that he always has my best interest in mind and is genuinely on my side. We both have issues, but somehow our issues work together and (mostly) push the other to be better. I cannot imagine a better life partner and I am so grateful for the 8+ years of our marriage.
2. My son, Odin. I love that little man! Before becoming a parent, I didn't understand how much you could love someone (and so quickly!). It has been my great pleasure to watch Odin grow, learn, and explore. He brings joy to my life daily, challenges me to be a better person, and helps me to appreciate the little things (and slow down to see them). I am so glad that he is a part of our lives.
3. My mom. I haven't always been on the best of terms with my mom, or family, but this last year has made me appreciate my mom. She sacrifices for us, and has always been a great example of how to love the Lord faithfully. I am glad she is part of our lives, and hope that she can become a more regular part soon.
4. Healing in my relationship with my mom. This time last year I wasn't sure if I wanted my mom to be part of my life at all, and had no idea how reconciliation would happen. I remember driving home from Bible Study and feeling like the Lord was telling me that He could and would heal our relationship - and I wasn't sure that I believed Him. Odin was VERY sick, and (when we finally told her everything that was going on) she immediately flew down, stepped in, and really helped us work through his issues. She used up 2+ years of time share time so that we could have a place to go out of our toxic apartment, and has regularly been a part of our life since. I am so grateful for God's healing of our relationship and that I can talk to her regularly. God truly is the great Counselor and Prince of Peace.
5. Our health. There is nothing like experiencing a time of sickness to make you appreciate health. I am so grateful that Odin is now healthy (and active and CRAZY) rather than lethargic and fighting for his life! I am grateful that Salah and I are generally healthy and don't struggle with health issues. I am thankful that Odin hasn't caught any crazy/weird childhood illnesses and that even his colds haven't been too bad. Thank you Jesus for our health, may we take care of the bodies you have entrusted to us!
6. Our house (and Long Beach). I never thought I would like living in Southern California, but I love Long Beach. I am grateful for this house, for our friendly and generous neighbors, for the nature center, and for its safety.
7. Friends (especially other moms). I am so thankful for friends. I really need other people to keep me sane. Being a mom is tough, and I am grateful for the other moms who reach out to me and encourage me to keep fighting the good fight through washing dishes, doing laundry, making meals, and wiping noses.
8. Being a stay at home mom. I love being a stay at home mom. I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to spend my days with Odin and intentionally build him up. I love that I get to see every milestone, make him laugh, read to him, and watch him sleep. I LOVE what I do, and there is nothing I would rather be doing than teaching Odin. Salah has sacrificed so much so that I can stay at home, and although we have tough days, I am so glad that I get to stay with Odin.
9. Facebook. It may sound silly, but I am thankful for facebook and the opportunity it gives me to stay in touch with far away friends.
10. Walking. I do a lot of walking: it is the way Odin calms down and goes to sleep. I am thankful that I can get out of the house, fill my body with Vitamin D, meet the neighbors, and exercise. I am thankful that I have found a way to give Odin a break (I think he just has so much energy that he needs to be slowed down sometimes). I am grateful that I have a way to realax that is good for me and my son.
I love my life and these boys!
I know that I won't
1. My husband, Salah. I am so thankful for my husband, and I truly cannot imagine my life without him. He is my best friend, partner, and love. When we first became a couple, he told me that he wanted to encourage me, support me, and challenge my relationship with God. I am so thankful that he has done all three. The more I see other couples, the more I realize that we are (or have let ourselves become) a good match for each other. Although he sometimes drives me crazy, I know that he always has my best interest in mind and is genuinely on my side. We both have issues, but somehow our issues work together and (mostly) push the other to be better. I cannot imagine a better life partner and I am so grateful for the 8+ years of our marriage.
2. My son, Odin. I love that little man! Before becoming a parent, I didn't understand how much you could love someone (and so quickly!). It has been my great pleasure to watch Odin grow, learn, and explore. He brings joy to my life daily, challenges me to be a better person, and helps me to appreciate the little things (and slow down to see them). I am so glad that he is a part of our lives.
3. My mom. I haven't always been on the best of terms with my mom, or family, but this last year has made me appreciate my mom. She sacrifices for us, and has always been a great example of how to love the Lord faithfully. I am glad she is part of our lives, and hope that she can become a more regular part soon.
4. Healing in my relationship with my mom. This time last year I wasn't sure if I wanted my mom to be part of my life at all, and had no idea how reconciliation would happen. I remember driving home from Bible Study and feeling like the Lord was telling me that He could and would heal our relationship - and I wasn't sure that I believed Him. Odin was VERY sick, and (when we finally told her everything that was going on) she immediately flew down, stepped in, and really helped us work through his issues. She used up 2+ years of time share time so that we could have a place to go out of our toxic apartment, and has regularly been a part of our life since. I am so grateful for God's healing of our relationship and that I can talk to her regularly. God truly is the great Counselor and Prince of Peace.
5. Our health. There is nothing like experiencing a time of sickness to make you appreciate health. I am so grateful that Odin is now healthy (and active and CRAZY) rather than lethargic and fighting for his life! I am grateful that Salah and I are generally healthy and don't struggle with health issues. I am thankful that Odin hasn't caught any crazy/weird childhood illnesses and that even his colds haven't been too bad. Thank you Jesus for our health, may we take care of the bodies you have entrusted to us!
6. Our house (and Long Beach). I never thought I would like living in Southern California, but I love Long Beach. I am grateful for this house, for our friendly and generous neighbors, for the nature center, and for its safety.
7. Friends (especially other moms). I am so thankful for friends. I really need other people to keep me sane. Being a mom is tough, and I am grateful for the other moms who reach out to me and encourage me to keep fighting the good fight through washing dishes, doing laundry, making meals, and wiping noses.
8. Being a stay at home mom. I love being a stay at home mom. I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to spend my days with Odin and intentionally build him up. I love that I get to see every milestone, make him laugh, read to him, and watch him sleep. I LOVE what I do, and there is nothing I would rather be doing than teaching Odin. Salah has sacrificed so much so that I can stay at home, and although we have tough days, I am so glad that I get to stay with Odin.
9. Facebook. It may sound silly, but I am thankful for facebook and the opportunity it gives me to stay in touch with far away friends.
10. Walking. I do a lot of walking: it is the way Odin calms down and goes to sleep. I am thankful that I can get out of the house, fill my body with Vitamin D, meet the neighbors, and exercise. I am thankful that I have found a way to give Odin a break (I think he just has so much energy that he needs to be slowed down sometimes). I am grateful that I have a way to realax that is good for me and my son.
I love my life and these boys!
Friday, November 2, 2012
Remembering
Uggh... This is one of those days that I usually pretend that doesn't exist. Today is the 12th anniversary of my dad's suicide. I never know what to feel today, or what to expect. Part of me is sad, part is angry, part hurts and part just doesn't know how to process. Sometimes I don't feel anything and then feel guilty about that. It's not my favorite day, and generally makes me hate the Halloween season in general.
Today usually makes me start asking 'what if' questions. What if he had lived? What would have happened? Would we have mended our relationship? Would I have met/married Salah? Would my life look drastically different? What if I hadn't been rude the last time I talked to him? One part of me knows that if he had lived, our relationship would have been rocky for a while - I had (and maybe still do) have issues with his anger, his part in my parent's breakup, and feelings of abandonment. The fact that he is dead changes my part of reconciliation. There is no present relationship to mend, no current pain to deal with. I "just" have to deal with what has happened in the past. My part is to heal and then go on with life. Although typing that just seems cold. Either way, I am reminded that my life has been shaped by the choices of others, particularly my father's death.
This is the first year that I've dealt with my dad's death as a parent. Last year I was anticipating giving birth that I didn't really have the emotional space to process it. But now, things have calmed down, and I wonder (again) what I'm going to say to Odin about his grandfather. When do you explain to your child that his grandfather committed suicide? How do you say that? I'm beginning to understand why parents keep things from their children (that children think they can handle, be it true or not). What questions will Odin ask? Do I just tell Odin that he died, and then later explain the suicide? As with many things, I don't think there is a right or an easy answer. I won't pretend to say that I know what I'm going to do.
As time passes, I feel that I'm able to understand my dad more, which is actually nice. When I was younger I was very optimistic, hadn't faced many tough choices, and didn't understand how a person could love another yet still hurt them. I'm not anywhere close to suicidal, or even depressed, but I have experienced loneliness, intense frustration, heartbreak, no-win scenarios, and being backed into a corner. I wish that he had been able to reach out and get help, but I now better understand him feeling trapped. I still feel hurt, even after all this time and a better understanding of him.
I am grateful that things have gotten easier. My dad was far from a perfect parent, and I still have scars from his actions. But I don't feel trapped by them anymore. While I absolutely want to give Odin my best, I have to say that I feel some comfort that if I can move past my dad, Odin will (by the grace of God) be able to move past my inevitable parenting mistakes (not that I want to hurt him, but I know I've already given him a few bad habits). I am so glad that God heals our hearts, even if part of the process is painful remembrance.
I miss you dad.
Today usually makes me start asking 'what if' questions. What if he had lived? What would have happened? Would we have mended our relationship? Would I have met/married Salah? Would my life look drastically different? What if I hadn't been rude the last time I talked to him? One part of me knows that if he had lived, our relationship would have been rocky for a while - I had (and maybe still do) have issues with his anger, his part in my parent's breakup, and feelings of abandonment. The fact that he is dead changes my part of reconciliation. There is no present relationship to mend, no current pain to deal with. I "just" have to deal with what has happened in the past. My part is to heal and then go on with life. Although typing that just seems cold. Either way, I am reminded that my life has been shaped by the choices of others, particularly my father's death.
This is the first year that I've dealt with my dad's death as a parent. Last year I was anticipating giving birth that I didn't really have the emotional space to process it. But now, things have calmed down, and I wonder (again) what I'm going to say to Odin about his grandfather. When do you explain to your child that his grandfather committed suicide? How do you say that? I'm beginning to understand why parents keep things from their children (that children think they can handle, be it true or not). What questions will Odin ask? Do I just tell Odin that he died, and then later explain the suicide? As with many things, I don't think there is a right or an easy answer. I won't pretend to say that I know what I'm going to do.
As time passes, I feel that I'm able to understand my dad more, which is actually nice. When I was younger I was very optimistic, hadn't faced many tough choices, and didn't understand how a person could love another yet still hurt them. I'm not anywhere close to suicidal, or even depressed, but I have experienced loneliness, intense frustration, heartbreak, no-win scenarios, and being backed into a corner. I wish that he had been able to reach out and get help, but I now better understand him feeling trapped. I still feel hurt, even after all this time and a better understanding of him.
I am grateful that things have gotten easier. My dad was far from a perfect parent, and I still have scars from his actions. But I don't feel trapped by them anymore. While I absolutely want to give Odin my best, I have to say that I feel some comfort that if I can move past my dad, Odin will (by the grace of God) be able to move past my inevitable parenting mistakes (not that I want to hurt him, but I know I've already given him a few bad habits). I am so glad that God heals our hearts, even if part of the process is painful remembrance.
I miss you dad.
Friday, October 19, 2012
Where does time go?
11 months went by very fast!
First let me get this out of the way: I LOVE Odin! He is so amazing. I definitely didn't expect to be this in love, and have so much fun playing with him. Being his mom is awesome!
He is growing up so fast (I know, it's what everyone says, but it's true!).
Here are a few highlights and new things going on in my world.
-Odin started giving 'kisses'. It's the sweetest thing, but it is actually more of a bite. Both Salah and I love it!
-When he's tired, Odin will come up to me and lay his head on me. I LOVE these snuggles. It's so sweet to see him starting to give affection and express himself.
-In the last week he has started talking (babbling really). As with everything he does, its cute.
-On October 11, he took his first wobbly step. He can stand on his own when he wants to. Normally, this is when he forgets to hold himself up, but keeps standing. He doesn't have much confidence in his walking, and for now prefers the speed of crawling.
-Odin's hatred of the carseat has increased. We had a tough trip to MOPS at the beginning of the month. Thankfully he fell asleep on the way home last time. It's so hard when he screams unconsolably.
-Stranger danger and separation anxiety are in full swing. Odin LOVES mom, and sometimes wants me to hold him constantly, even when we are at home.
-Odin's health continues to be good (thank you Lord!) and we haven't had any major crises lately. Even when Salah got a bad cold (hopefully the flu, so we don't get it later), Odin was barely sick. I am so grateful he continues to do well.
-Food wise, Odin continues to surprise me. I never know how much or what he is going to eat. In general, he is not too picky (and even has a sweet tooth like mama). His food allergies continue to improve. I now can eat everything but dairy and chocolate as far as he is concerned (although I might have a wheat intolerance). I even tried pizza (SO GOOD!!) for the first time in over 8 months, and so far it doesn't seem to bother him.
-Odin continues to have SO.MUCH.ENERGY. You would never guess that the first 2+ months of his life he was lethargic. He loves play time, being 'chased' by mom, and exploring new things.
-For now, Odin still takes 2 naps a day. I never know how long they are going to last, but I try to get done what I can while he sleeps. He has started going to bed at night without a walk, which is convenient since the weather is a balmy 60 degrees most night (much to chilly for him).
-Odin has started to play ball by rolling it to me. His directional abilities are lacking, but it's still fun. He has amazing bodily spatial awareness, and even when crawling over the desk, chairs, and table, he rarely smacks his head. Clearly, he has the spatial awareness of his father and not his mother.
-Diaper changes have become crazy. Earlier this month he started refusing to lay on his back. Have you ever tried to change a poopy diaper while the baby rolls over? It's not easy, let me tell you. My solution to this has been changing him standing up. This, thankfully, is easier than it sounds once you get the hang of it.
-Odin *ahem* loves pretty girls. Normally he is very shy with strangers, but if you happen to be an attractive young lady (especially blonde) then he will reach out and smile like crazy. I'm already a bit nervous
-Apparently Odin is more aware of social trends than I am. We recently found out that if he is fussy, he will instantly calm down to the song 'gangnam style.' We still have yet to video tape this.
All in all, it's been a fun and busy month. Odin is becoming so much more fun to play with, and I love watching him explore. Thanks for tolerating my 'mom posts' I just want to make sure I record this phase of life in all its joys and struggles.
First let me get this out of the way: I LOVE Odin! He is so amazing. I definitely didn't expect to be this in love, and have so much fun playing with him. Being his mom is awesome!
He is growing up so fast (I know, it's what everyone says, but it's true!).
Here are a few highlights and new things going on in my world.
-Odin started giving 'kisses'. It's the sweetest thing, but it is actually more of a bite. Both Salah and I love it!
-When he's tired, Odin will come up to me and lay his head on me. I LOVE these snuggles. It's so sweet to see him starting to give affection and express himself.
-In the last week he has started talking (babbling really). As with everything he does, its cute.
-On October 11, he took his first wobbly step. He can stand on his own when he wants to. Normally, this is when he forgets to hold himself up, but keeps standing. He doesn't have much confidence in his walking, and for now prefers the speed of crawling.
-Odin's hatred of the carseat has increased. We had a tough trip to MOPS at the beginning of the month. Thankfully he fell asleep on the way home last time. It's so hard when he screams unconsolably.
-Stranger danger and separation anxiety are in full swing. Odin LOVES mom, and sometimes wants me to hold him constantly, even when we are at home.
-Odin's health continues to be good (thank you Lord!) and we haven't had any major crises lately. Even when Salah got a bad cold (hopefully the flu, so we don't get it later), Odin was barely sick. I am so grateful he continues to do well.
-Food wise, Odin continues to surprise me. I never know how much or what he is going to eat. In general, he is not too picky (and even has a sweet tooth like mama). His food allergies continue to improve. I now can eat everything but dairy and chocolate as far as he is concerned (although I might have a wheat intolerance). I even tried pizza (SO GOOD!!) for the first time in over 8 months, and so far it doesn't seem to bother him.
-Odin continues to have SO.MUCH.ENERGY. You would never guess that the first 2+ months of his life he was lethargic. He loves play time, being 'chased' by mom, and exploring new things.
-For now, Odin still takes 2 naps a day. I never know how long they are going to last, but I try to get done what I can while he sleeps. He has started going to bed at night without a walk, which is convenient since the weather is a balmy 60 degrees most night (much to chilly for him).
-Odin has started to play ball by rolling it to me. His directional abilities are lacking, but it's still fun. He has amazing bodily spatial awareness, and even when crawling over the desk, chairs, and table, he rarely smacks his head. Clearly, he has the spatial awareness of his father and not his mother.
-Diaper changes have become crazy. Earlier this month he started refusing to lay on his back. Have you ever tried to change a poopy diaper while the baby rolls over? It's not easy, let me tell you. My solution to this has been changing him standing up. This, thankfully, is easier than it sounds once you get the hang of it.
-Odin *ahem* loves pretty girls. Normally he is very shy with strangers, but if you happen to be an attractive young lady (especially blonde) then he will reach out and smile like crazy. I'm already a bit nervous
-Apparently Odin is more aware of social trends than I am. We recently found out that if he is fussy, he will instantly calm down to the song 'gangnam style.' We still have yet to video tape this.
All in all, it's been a fun and busy month. Odin is becoming so much more fun to play with, and I love watching him explore. Thanks for tolerating my 'mom posts' I just want to make sure I record this phase of life in all its joys and struggles.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Just Coexist
And acquaintance of mine posted on Facebook last night, saying something to the effect of 'I am proud that my family and friends have diverse religious beliefs and that we all compassionately get along.' Many people 'liked' her post and almost everyone in the comments agreed, supporting the importance of tolerance. While this path of agnostic, tolerance, privatizing religion, and placing an emphasis on personal spirituality is the trend in America, I see this as a move away from truth and am afraid for where it will lead.
On one hand, coexisting is important. History is full of examples of religious differences causing wars where hearts went untouched. I am guessing very few true converts were made during the wars in Ireland, the Bosnian/Serbian slaughter, or the multitude of attacks in the Middle East. Threats of death do not promote truth.
However, the coexisting that is promoted by bumperstickers, t-shirts, and the media is also very unhealthy. If we ignore our differences and try not to bring them up, then we are completely overlooking the point of religion.
Perhaps my view of religion is different than most peoples'. I believe that we must seek truth and aim to have true beliefs, regardless of the subject matter. As I am not an atheist, I believe that God exists, can be known, and so I aim to align my beliefs with who God truly is. Religion is not a cultural preferece, pure spirituality (whatever that means), or a mere set of practices. Instead it is a way of viewing the world and intentional character change to become the kind of person God wants. As I have very different beliefs about God, the world He created, and the kind of person I am supposed to be than Muslims, Mormons, Hindus, and Buddhists, we have different beliefs.
On one hand, coexisting is important. History is full of examples of religious differences causing wars where hearts went untouched. I am guessing very few true converts were made during the wars in Ireland, the Bosnian/Serbian slaughter, or the multitude of attacks in the Middle East. Threats of death do not promote truth.
However, the coexisting that is promoted by bumperstickers, t-shirts, and the media is also very unhealthy. If we ignore our differences and try not to bring them up, then we are completely overlooking the point of religion.
Perhaps my view of religion is different than most peoples'. I believe that we must seek truth and aim to have true beliefs, regardless of the subject matter. As I am not an atheist, I believe that God exists, can be known, and so I aim to align my beliefs with who God truly is. Religion is not a cultural preferece, pure spirituality (whatever that means), or a mere set of practices. Instead it is a way of viewing the world and intentional character change to become the kind of person God wants. As I have very different beliefs about God, the world He created, and the kind of person I am supposed to be than Muslims, Mormons, Hindus, and Buddhists, we have different beliefs.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
10 Months
I know every parent says this, but I can't believe how fast Odin is growing up! I love that little man more and more each day. He is so much fun to be with, and so much to handle! Our little man is definitely intense and he knows what he wants (and how to get it already)!
Likes:
-Play time (he loves doing things on his own and being able to explore)
-Mom, still his favorite person
-Staying up late
-Walks (still how we put him to sleep)
-Reading, especially books with sounds
Dislikes:
-Vegetables and baby food (he recently learned how to spit food out of his mouth)
-Being told no (which he certainly understands)
Milestones:
-He crawls on his hands and knees regularly
-Pulls himself up without effort
-'Cruises' along the couch (I think if we wanted him to walk we could do it easily)
-Playing the 'put it away' game. We just started, but he likes putting things in boxes.
-He has started yelling or shaking when we take something away from him
-It's hard to tell, but it seems like Odin understands lots of words including: mom, dad, eat, drink, look, no, put away, hands, glasses, walk, binkie and lots that I'm not remembering right now.
I love you Odin!
Likes:
-Play time (he loves doing things on his own and being able to explore)
-Mom, still his favorite person
-Staying up late
-Walks (still how we put him to sleep)
-Reading, especially books with sounds
Dislikes:
-Vegetables and baby food (he recently learned how to spit food out of his mouth)
-Being told no (which he certainly understands)
Milestones:
-He crawls on his hands and knees regularly
-Pulls himself up without effort
-'Cruises' along the couch (I think if we wanted him to walk we could do it easily)
-Playing the 'put it away' game. We just started, but he likes putting things in boxes.
-He has started yelling or shaking when we take something away from him
-It's hard to tell, but it seems like Odin understands lots of words including: mom, dad, eat, drink, look, no, put away, hands, glasses, walk, binkie and lots that I'm not remembering right now.
I love you Odin!
Friday, September 21, 2012
Parenting Goals
Being a parent is hard work... obviously. Every parent you will ever meet probably says this regularly, because it is true. As a parent there are dozens of things I have to balance: healthy eating, social interaction, house cleaning, getting enough sleep, staying sane, and (oh yeah) marriage. Because there is so much to do, it is easy to let myself slip into ‘autopilot’ and just get through my day. Survival sometimes seems impossible for me, so how could I do more?
Enough whining for now: parenting is a phenomenal gift (and I love it). I don’t just want to get through the next 18+ years, I want to intentionally raise Odin so that (to the best of my ability) he is an amazing man. I have many dreams and goals for him, and I know that they just won’t ‘happen’ to come about: I need to be an intentional mom.
Having lofty goals and dreams is great, but I need a specific plan of action if things like ‘encourage Odin to love truth’ are ever going to happen. I wanted to write down (and publicly share for accountability) what my dreams for Odin are. If I’m being honest, this is what I want for myself, my husband, and just about everybody I know.... but for now I’ll work on developing it in myself so that I can (hopefully) guide Odin to these.
Physically
-Have energy to be passionate about life
-Be in good shape so that he is not limited by exhaustion, lack of strength or stamina, people’s perceptions, or excess
-Know what good food is and how to eat it, but not be so picky that he insults others
-Be disciplined so that a lack of sleep, food, or energy doesn’t cripple him
Socially
-Truly love others as God loves Him
-Be able to assess a social situation, and read what others are thinking
-Be comfortable in a group or alone
-Have at least one really good friend
Emotionally
-Be self aware to recognize emotions and where they come from
-Understand what energizes him
-Be able to express himself clearly and appropriately when big emotions are involved
Mentally
-Love Truth
-Understand a variety of worldviews and be able to rationally know why he chose his
-Have a wide enough knowledge base to understand topics of general conversation
-Have the research/learning skills to find answers to any question
-Have an ‘always-ready-to-learn’ attitude
Spiritually
-Truly love Jesus
-Be a warrior for the Kingdom of God and actively destroying evil
-Have the confidence to share Jesus with others
I also have some general principles I want to teach him that don’t fit perfectly into any category. Here are some of them...
-Small choices determine character
-Be able to prioritize
-Always keep growing and learning
-Life isn’t fair, make the most of the opportunities you are given
-Life is a process with seasons
-Guard your heart
-Do things right the first time, and if you don’t fix it
May the Lord have mercy over my parenting!
Enough whining for now: parenting is a phenomenal gift (and I love it). I don’t just want to get through the next 18+ years, I want to intentionally raise Odin so that (to the best of my ability) he is an amazing man. I have many dreams and goals for him, and I know that they just won’t ‘happen’ to come about: I need to be an intentional mom.
Having lofty goals and dreams is great, but I need a specific plan of action if things like ‘encourage Odin to love truth’ are ever going to happen. I wanted to write down (and publicly share for accountability) what my dreams for Odin are. If I’m being honest, this is what I want for myself, my husband, and just about everybody I know.... but for now I’ll work on developing it in myself so that I can (hopefully) guide Odin to these.
Physically
-Have energy to be passionate about life
-Be in good shape so that he is not limited by exhaustion, lack of strength or stamina, people’s perceptions, or excess
-Know what good food is and how to eat it, but not be so picky that he insults others
-Be disciplined so that a lack of sleep, food, or energy doesn’t cripple him
Socially
-Truly love others as God loves Him
-Be able to assess a social situation, and read what others are thinking
-Be comfortable in a group or alone
-Have at least one really good friend
Emotionally
-Be self aware to recognize emotions and where they come from
-Understand what energizes him
-Be able to express himself clearly and appropriately when big emotions are involved
Mentally
-Love Truth
-Understand a variety of worldviews and be able to rationally know why he chose his
-Have a wide enough knowledge base to understand topics of general conversation
-Have the research/learning skills to find answers to any question
-Have an ‘always-ready-to-learn’ attitude
Spiritually
-Truly love Jesus
-Be a warrior for the Kingdom of God and actively destroying evil
-Have the confidence to share Jesus with others
I also have some general principles I want to teach him that don’t fit perfectly into any category. Here are some of them...
-Small choices determine character
-Be able to prioritize
-Always keep growing and learning
-Life isn’t fair, make the most of the opportunities you are given
-Life is a process with seasons
-Guard your heart
-Do things right the first time, and if you don’t fix it
May the Lord have mercy over my parenting!
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
9 Months
Odin is growing up so fast! Another blog I follow posts monthly updates about her son, and I thought it would be a good idea. Odin changes so quickly and I've already missed chronicling it, but late is better than never, right?
What Odin loves:
Odin is SO independent! He loves doing this for himself. Any time I put something new in front of him, he wants to explore and understand it. His favorite 'toys' are power cords, which we have a hard time keeping away from him! He loves kitchen items (spatulas, bowls, pastry brushes etc) more than typical baby toys. We just got look-and-feel books, which he enjoys often. He doesn't sit still as long for reading as he did a month ago, but he still enjoys being read to. At this point, Odin is definitely a momma's boy, I'm his favorite person! Sometimes it is amazing (like when he snuggles me while on a walk), but other times it can be challenging (when he refuses to go to others). Odin still loves going for walks, it helps to calm him down whenever he is fussy (which really is not very frequent). He want to have time to himself to play and explore - and I appreciate the time also! Odin is very creative and I am constantly having to find new ways to entertain him, or keep him away from un-baby-proofed areas. Odin is very tough, and rarely cries - even when he falls over an bonks his head. He certainly has his parents' pain tolerance.
What Odin dislikes:
Odin does not like being in the car. This isn't new at all, but he is getting more creative at fighting the carseat - much to my chagrin. Unfortunately Odin doesn't like many vegetables - he is a great eater of grains, fruit and beans, but NOT veggies. He got his last tooth a while ago, but he doesn't love teething (who would?). Biting dad helps to ease the pain.
Milestones:
Odin is beginning to crawl with his tummy off the ground. He has been crawling army-style for over a month. He is still faster army style, but is continuing to increase doing it the 'regular' way. Odin can feed himself very well, and appreciates whole food over baby food. He is babbling more and more each day (depending on his mood). He regularly says 'mama' but I don't think he has attached the meaning to me yet. Regularly I look away only to find that Odin has pulled himself up yet again - which is only problematic because he doesn't fall very well yet. He has a tendency to fall on his head rather than his bum. Stranger danger has somewhat set in - he is cautious when he sees new people but doesn't cry. However, he refuses to be held by almost anyone but mom or dad.
All in all, I LOVE being a mom. It is fun, challenging, exciting, and exhausting. Odin is teaching me to appreciate the present moment, take time to relax, PRAY, and enjoy the small things. I am so grateful for my little man - he is growing up so quickly. I want to remember this special time :)
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Love is Love
I like TV, and the break it gives me from my daily routine. Last night I was looking at the new lineup to see if there were any new shows that I could get into. Unfortunately, things do not look very appealing. I am amazed at the combination of stupidity, debauchery, evil, and immorality I found. It seems the media is trying to promote a worldview that is very contrary to the Bible.
The show that caught my eye is "The New Normal" on NBC. It is about a gay couple who hires a woman to be their surrogate. As expected, it has all the quirks of personality clashes, overcoming stereotypes, and the joys of pregnancy. If I'm being honest (and if there were not other problems), it looks like a funny show.
However, this show (from its very title) is presenting a view of the American family that I do not agree with. I believe that marriage is only the union of a man and a woman and that this is the ideal starting point for a family. Although I recognize that many struggle with homosexual desires, the Bible clearly condemns homosexual actions. (William Lane Craig wrote two articles that I agree with here http://www.reasonablefaith.org/a-christian-perspective-on-homosexuality and here http://www.reasonablefaith.org/christian-homosexuals). I do not want to support a show that presents homosexuality as normal and a healthy starting point for a family.
The trailer of the show had an interesting line in it. One of the gay men asked the potential surrogate, "Are you comfortable with carrying a baby for two men?" She replied, "Yes. Love is love." Is any form of love truly love? This certainly is the perspective that our society is heading toward, but it is not biblical. Love can only be defined or understood through God, because God is love (1 John 4:8). We are told that we can know love because Jesus came, lived among us, and died for our sins (v. 10). Any form of true love must be done through the work of the Spirit and will be pleasing to God. According to the Bible, this does not include sexually active homosexual relationships. So love is not love.
The love issues seems to be a reflection of the general issues in our culture. We are told that whatever feels right, is pleasing in the moment, and does not offend anyone else is our good. This leads us to a culture of entitlement, relativity, selfishness, and instant gratificaiton. Christian principles like denying self, choosing what influences you, and sacrificing for others are not popular. America was founded on Christian principles, but I fear we are no longer a Christian nation. We have given into pluralism and accept what makes us comfortable. We do not want to step on other people's toes and give into what seems good in the moment. I fear for where this will lead the nation and want to choose a different path for my family.
Let me be clear: I am not perfect. I daily struggle with selfishness, anger, greed, theft, lying, and pride. These are NOT the kind of traits I am proud of, but they exist within me. The only way that I can conquer them is through the strength of the Spirit. Because I struggle so much, I don't want to choose to be influenced by things that will let me compromise. I don't want to regularly expose myself to the message that love is love, or that what feels good is right. I want to be careful what environment I raise my son in so that he will love what is good. I want him to love the one who truly is love.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Blessings
Ummm... so it's been a while since I posted in here.
In the past two years I've moved 4 times, had a baby, been through some drama, reconnected with old friends, lost a few friends, and generally been busy. But all in all, I am reminded of how blessed I am.
Lately I've been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and it talks about joy. He says that to worry or stress is to say that what I'm doing is more important than God's call to trust Him. Wow! I am so guilty of that. My life isn't often marked by joy, which is exactly what we are called to do as believers. So I've decided that I want to work on being more joyful, and remembering to rejoice in today because God made it.
An easy way for me to rejoice is to count my blessings. Seeing is how this is a good way to remind myself (and the very few who actually read this) of what's happened, I thought this would be a good time to remember all that God has done. I am blessed because I have a husband who loves me, and works so that I can stay at home with Odin. I am blessed to be a mom to a happy (and now mostly healthy) son. I am blessed to have a mom who is involved in my life and sacrifices to help us. I am blessed to be living in a beautiful house next to an amazing park. I am blessed because I serve a God who loves me enough to sanctify me, no matter how much I resist Him. I am so grateful for my life - I genuinely wake up happy every morning and look forward to my day.
I want to make the most of these moments because I've already seen how fast time goes with a baby. Odin is already so much bigger (and has more personality) than I thought possible at this age. I am so glad to be where I am in life. I am blessed, and rejoicing in the goodness of today and the faithfulness of God.
An easy way for me to rejoice is to count my blessings. Seeing is how this is a good way to remind myself (and the very few who actually read this) of what's happened, I thought this would be a good time to remember all that God has done. I am blessed because I have a husband who loves me, and works so that I can stay at home with Odin. I am blessed to be a mom to a happy (and now mostly healthy) son. I am blessed to have a mom who is involved in my life and sacrifices to help us. I am blessed to be living in a beautiful house next to an amazing park. I am blessed because I serve a God who loves me enough to sanctify me, no matter how much I resist Him. I am so grateful for my life - I genuinely wake up happy every morning and look forward to my day.
I want to make the most of these moments because I've already seen how fast time goes with a baby. Odin is already so much bigger (and has more personality) than I thought possible at this age. I am so glad to be where I am in life. I am blessed, and rejoicing in the goodness of today and the faithfulness of God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)