The Emotions of Truth

I have a friend - a pretty good one too - who has worked herself into quite a pickle.  A relationship she was in went sour and she was hurt in several ways.  Many of her friends say that the situation will not get better (at least from the other person's actions changing) but she refuses to believe this.  

This is so hard for me.  I have been taught that what one believes influences her actions - and this makes perfect sense to me.  I drink water because I believe I am thirsty and believe that drinking water will quench my thirst.  I write papers because I believe it will help me get good grades which will help me get a job one day.  The second component that I've learned is that what we know is formed from what we believe and good justification (meaning reasons or evidence for a belief).  I have good reasons (justification) to believe many things including that the sky is blue, I am a thinking being, and that the sun will rise tomorrow.  However, my friend's belief that things will get better in this relationship is based purely on hope that it will get better and fear of the consequences if things do not get better.  She has very good reasons to believe that the situation actually is bleak and this evidence has been confirmed multiple times in multiple ways.  It is blatantly clear to myself and other friends what will happen - and we have not met the other party involved.  

I truly wish good things for my friend - I want her to do what is right and to be in a good situation.  Normally I would try to convince her to change her behavior by way of changing her beliefs.  But how can I change my friend's beliefs if they are based on emotions and directly contradictory to the evidence?  Philosophy has been very helpful, but fails to help here.  

I have spent many hours pondering what is true, but what is good and right to do when the truth hurts?  And what does one do if reason is ignored?  Perhaps this is no longer a philosophic question and I am trying to fit everything into the wonderful (and very large) box of philosophy that I am exploring at the moment.  Perhaps this is an issue for the counselor, psychologist, or even pastor.  It very likely is the case that speaking to my friend in this philosophic talk would be of no benefit to either of us and aside from loving her as she is the best thing I can do for her is pray.

When I step back from the situation it does remind be about an interesting facet of epistemology.  Knowledge is said to be justified true belief, but can I really say that my friend does not know that in the end she will be deeply hurt from this relationship?  Is it actually possible for a person to bluntly believe a falsehood with much evidence staring her in the face?  (Perhaps she merely refuses to acknowledge truth but still knows it, but if not there is something to be said about this).  If she truly does not know she will be hurt, then humans have an amazing capacity for hope, fear, and other emotions to strongly influence them.  I find this truly fascinating.  Free will may be such that one can choose to believe something completely irrational.  What does this say about the soul?  Did this ability to believe something contrary to evidence happen as a result of the fall or were we created in such a way that the will can overpower the mind?  (Maybe this is how someone could believe that a = -a as they do in some Eastern religions, which seems completely incomprehensible to me).  Did this happen so that we could believe in the goodness of God despite much evil in the world (and then some people misuse this ability for wrong purposes)?  Either way, it strikes me that souls are complex substances that need to be given serious credit.  Most unfortunately, the naturalism that permeates our society pulls many Christians away from these thoughts so that we no longer understand what we are and what the implications of our nature are.  I want to recognize the depth of the soul so that I may (as I walk in the Spirit) be properly ordered and reflect the goodness of my Creator.  I want to recognize the complexity of beliefs, knowledge, and emotion so that I do not ignore one aspect of who I am as I pursue truth.  I never want to be one that works in vain because I missed an important aspect of being human.  Help me Lord Jesus.

Ending

I've been in school a long time.  I started (like most other people) when I was 5 in kindergarten so I've spent a total of 20 years in school... all of my life that I can remember.  So since I'm graduating in May, a short 9 weeks from now, I will be facing one of the biggest changes in my life.  Granted, things did change quite a bit the summer I got married, moved from small-town Lewiston to Los Angeles, and changed majors... but that felt quite a bit different.  I was (obviously) excited to get married and start my new adventure.  I knew what I was going to do next, or at least I thought I knew how my life was changing.  But this time, as I am leaving my 'profession' and starting something new, I'm not sure how I will be filling my time.  Granted, I plan on continuing to substitute teach and I will try to write, but I have no idea what this will look like exactly.  There are so many questions and so few answers (and that's just about what I will be doing, not what Salah will be doing or where we will be living or how we will deal with all of life's changes).  I REALLY don't do will with a lot of down time, I really appreciate having something do do.  So needless to say I've been a little stressed lately.

Most unfortunately, this stress has made it difficult for me to focus on school.  I have a paper due each week till the end and I simply cannot find the motivation to do my best (or sometimes even work on school stuff at all).  I am quite puzzled by this phenomenon I am experiencing and probably feeding.  Up till now I absolutely loved what I was doing, I felt as though I could stay in school forever.  I spent time pondering whether I should go onto my doctorate and almost mourned when I decided it wasn't the best option for me at the time.  I thrived on stretching myself to do my best at school even though philosophy does not always come naturally to me (I think in very different ways than my classmates).  Why the change?  Part of it is that I'm taking an independent study that is VERY challenging and I am not doing as well as I hoped.  I've gotten myself all flustered and been hard on myself for doing worse than expected.  So now I feel as though I am in the place that I did not want to be, I fear that I am not finishing well.

I've worked so hard till now that I don't want to waste my last few weeks of amazing opportunities.  Because I didn't expect to hit 'senioritis' I didn't prepare for it.  But now that I'm here I must keep fighting.  I am learning to find the balance between pushing myself to do the work that needs to be done and letting myself take a break (not expecting the world of myself).  The whole balance thing (and letting go) is not something that I typically do well.  Although I suppose it is something that only comes with time and experience.  Letting go is particularly difficult when I don't know what's next.  When I start to worry about it, the only thing I can do is be reminded of God's continued faithfulness.  I've been in situations much worse than this but God was faithful then.  I want to do all that I can but also rest in God's promises.  My studies have taught me that terrible things can still happen to me... those faithfully following God have been killed, tortured, starved, and brutalized, but they have also succeeded and gone on to do great things for the kingdom.  I want to be faithful with what I have been given, I don't want to sell myself short, but faithfulness is all that I need to aim for.