One of the fun things about a new (or re-discovered) hobby is that it reveals so much about you. As fun as bread-making has been, I have learned that I have some character shaping to do. As easy as this bread process is, it takes quite a bit of time once you decide to make a loaf. From start to finish takes around an hour and a half (but only 5 minutes or so is active time, so I can do other stuff in the mean time). However, this wait time has shown me how inflexible I have become in my schedule. I will have just shaped a loaf and Salah will want to go do something fun with me. My automatic response (which I often try NOT to say aloud) is 'how dare he try to impose on my schedule and not value the amazing thing I am doing right now.' Quite frankly, this is ridiculous. I should be grateful that I have a husband who wants to spend time with me and values doing things with me, but instead I am frustrated he didn't check with my plans before coming up with a great idea. Second, I am becoming much too picky for my own good. I have my ideas on how the bread should be sliced, when it should be eaten, and what makes the best toppings. When others enjoy the bread (that I made to be enjoyed by others and certainly not to be eaten entirely by me) I become bitter they do not automatically know my way of doing things. Finally, I really need to relax and enjoy the process instead of being worried something will not turn out right. Since this is a new endeavor of mine, I have made a couple mistakes in the bread. One loaf fell flat, another was underbaked, and instead of making pita I somehow re-created stale communion bread. None of these are a big deal, no one cared but me. However, after each incident happened I was frustrated with myself and it took me a while to try again to make it right. I need to learn to adjust, accept my mistakes, and the move on.
All in all, I have loved this new adventure, but I am not sure what to do about the character weaknesses it has brought to the surface. Instead of being inflexible, stuck in my ways, and frustrated at mistakes I want to be gracious, generous, and adventurous (which really requires me not to take myself so seriously). I am grateful that this new adventure has brought me so many learning experiences, but am not sure how to adjust the ways that I need to. I am so glad that life is a process of growth and no one (except maybe me) expects me to change overnight. Jesus referred to yeast in a couple of his parables. He said the Kingdom is like yeast that works its way through the entire batch of dough, but he also warned against the 'yeasty' teachings of the Pharisees. I want have a soul marked by the yeast of the Kingdom and not that of self-righteousness.
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